Vintage Love: Love Advice from Longtime Married Couples

The digital age has made it so easy to meet someone, to stay in touch with someone, and heck, to tell the world about someone. But it wasn’t always like that. Love in the olden days was, for lack of a better term, something that required a lot more effort. Meeting your beau meant literally standing in one place at an agreed time and not just texting “omw”. Wooing someone used to mean writing hundreds of love letters in the hopes that one of them will not only land on her hand but also get through to her heart. Patience, commitment, trust were therefore attributes that one must possess. But what does it really mean to have those? These couples from way back 70s give us love advice to take to heart when it comes to strengthening a relationship.

Concord and Erna Fabillar

From buddies walking in school halls to walking down the aisle.

Concord and Erna’s relationship is an epitome of love, in sickness and in health, and one that flourishes beyond death. Concord passed away more than five years ago after his brave battle with cancer. But their love story remains to be one that their children and the younger generations in the family continue to look up to.

It’s been three decades since they met in college. They had been friends for a long time before being in a relationship. Their eldest daughter, Karen, fondly shares, “My mom knew every girl my dad dated, and always thought she wouldn’t be one of them. She thought my dad was too friendly and got annoyed at how it took them a long time to get to where they were heading because he would get stuck talking to people!”

Like rom-com characters, they were polar opposites. Erna remembered Concord to be this popular guy. She was a straight-A student and he was Mr. Congeniality.

“They sat next to each other in class, and because my dad had a busy social life, he would almost always failed to study for exams. That’s when my mom came in. He would copy answers from her! In turn, he would buy her a snack or lunch,” Karen revealed. “They said that, over time, they formed a bond and became closer. The next thing they knew, they were in love!”

A romantic legacy

“Growing up, I have always admired how they still talk to each other like friends. On lazy days, you would see them sitting on our dining table from breakfast ‘til noon talking about anything and everything!” Karen candidly shared.

Frederick and Maria Delia Carina Bernal

Can we get an amen on that chic head dress?

They went to the same school in Toledo City, Cebu, where dependents of Atlas Mining and Atlas Fertilizer employees were sent. “My wife’s father worked as the resident manager of Atlas Fertilizer and my father was an ordinary employee of Atlas Mining,” recalled Frederick. This set-up only proved how their families’ social statuses never hindered them from getting to know each other deeper.

It was only during college, when they were already in Manila, that they made their relationship official. “And on August 31, 1985, we got married!” The couple will be celebrating their 34th wedding anniversary this year.

Love advice for newlyweds

“Teamwork. The partnership must recognize each other’s talents and weaknesses. At the beginning, a clear set of objectives must be determined. These objectives will be the bases of all the decisions that will be acted upon and teamwork will play a great role in it.”

Eva and Lope Cavanlit

Lope recalled meeting Eva during English class at a university in 1976, “I remembered she was very beautiful but shy. I liked going to class because i could see her.” Fast forward to present day, they are now married for 39 years!

Lope’s handwritten “certificate of love”.

Best love advice

“Understand the words fidelity and commitment. Don’t get married unless you understand those words. Always have the eyes for each other. You should be each other’s standards for beautiful/ handsome. If your wife is short then your standard of beauty is short. If your husband has flat nose then your favourite face should have a flat nose. This is simple but most couples do not understand this. They marry for so many reasons but they look to others for standards. That’s why they compare and ultimately, they end up unhappy because they look to others as the measuring stick for what they like.

Being married means liking the one you promised forever everyday and understanding that he/she will not be perfect. If she lacks time-management then bring time-management to the relationship. Don’t demand it. You give it, freely and wholeheartedly. The sooner you stop thinking that your wife/ husband should be flawless/ perfect, the easier marriage will be. It’s not saying you can slack in the relationship. It’s understanding that you married a person, who deserves to be loved, forgiven, and accepted over and over.”