The Pinoy Guide to Being a Good Wedding Guest

We Filipinos enjoy a good celebration. Anything that combines great food and great company, we’re definitely in. While a wedding celebration is about two people in love, the truth of the matter is, it actually involves a number of people with different personalities and preferences. Couples aiming to please everyone may find it as a double-edged sword that could go wrong at any minute. Thus, do your part in making it easier for the bride and groom by being a good wedding guest. Here, we go back to basic guest etiquette and tackle simple things we often forget on someone else’s big day.

Ladies, do not wear white

This is probably one of the oldest entries in the rule book, but you won’t believe how many women still violate this. It’s an unspoken rule for female guests to not wear white to a wedding. This is to keep the color exclusively for the bride, who should be the center of attention. Some argue that, as long as your white dress won’t be mistaken as a wedding dress, it is perfectly fine. But to be on the safe side and avoid upsetting people, bride included, just avoid this color altogether, unless the bride requests everyone to wear white for some specific reason.

Never wear white unless you are asked to. Chic white entourage via @maxenemagalona

And oh, unless the color motif calls for it, don’t wear black too. It’s no funeral, hun.

Respect an unplugged wedding

Amid the age of technology and social media, some couples will opt to have an unplugged wedding. This means that guests are not allowed to use their phones throughout the ceremony (the rule is often being lifted during the dinner and dancing). Understandably, this to prevent distractions such as phones ringing in the middle of the vows and more importantly, to make sure that official photographers and videographers are able to do their jobs without guests getting in the way trying to take pictures during the most important moments.

A good wedding guest sends an RSVP

One thing that some guests often miss to understand is the fact that a wedding is a calculated event. From the invitation to the drinks, everything is planned according to a budget and not every couple gets to enjoy a royal budget. So if you’re invited to a wedding, consider yourself honored. With that, always confirm your attendance in a timely manner. An entire planning may depend on your sweet acceptance.

Show up accordingly

Just as important as RSVPing is to pay close attention to how many seats are being reserved for you. If it says no kids allowed, then don’t bring your tots. If it says you were reserved with one seat, then show up by yourself. You’re most likely to find friends to socialize with during the merriment anyway. Be a good wedding guest and never—and we couldn’t emphasize this more—ever show up with an uninvited person. It’s rude. Period. If you really want to bring a plus one, take a moment to evaluate what type of wedding the couple wants before asking them to reconsider. Remember, even if you offer to pay for your plus one, some couples aren’t just after following a tight budget, but also keeping the celebration exclusive and intimate.

Stay classy, behave appropriately

While ideally, a wedding is a cause for celebration, it’s not the right venue to party hard and get wasted. Save your drunken shenanigans, which may result in drama, for the after-party. Don’t let Tita Lucy see you like that. In terms of buffet dining, we feel that we just have to bring this up. For Pete’s sake, don’t be patay gutom. Don’t cut in line to get to the buffet quicker. Patiently wait for your turn and be nice to the waiting staff.

Stay beyond dinner

Speaking of dinner, we often hear stories of poor couples who end up in a room of a little over ten people, because guests have left right after devouring dinner. Eat and run, as we call it, is hugely frowned upon. Taking part of a meal should not be your only purpose of attending a wedding, it should just be an added perk. Stay for the thought-out trivia questions, the riveting speeches, and the paid entertainment. Simply, be a respectful guest.

Sign the guest book

good wedding guest

The easiest to fulfill. When you see a guest book, in whatever creative way it’s being executed, sign it. Leave a short message for the couple. Whether it’s only been weeks or it’s celebrating a golden anniversary, scanning through the guest book is always a heartwarming way to revisit the big day. Express your gratitude to have been part of a milestone!

More about Quinn B. Pantinople

The founder of Wedding Kultura, Quinn is a copywriter, a DIY apostle, and a certified wedding enthusiast. She’s the go-to girl of the Kaeratana Design Studio marketing team and (as for herself) her go-to getaway is the beach. On the side, she maintains a personal blog, QuaintQuinn.com, where she talks about craft, food, travel, motherhood, and everything in between.

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