Top Things I Learned from the FRIENDS Weddings

“The One Where We Get Married” is probably the title of all your wedding teasers if you’re a big Friends fan. Although this was not the case for me, I found myself making a lot of references to some of the Friends weddings when I was planning my own.

For us fans of the original #friendshipgoals icon, weddings had certainly been one of the things we remember from the sitcom. We might have even watched them more than once: Ross and Emily’s British wedding, Ross and Rachel’s Vegas wedding, Carol and Susan’s wedding, Rachel’s ex-fiance and ex-best friend’s wedding, Chandler and Monica’s wedding, and Phoebe and Mike’s wedding. And in each episode, there was a lesson we could take away. Well sort of.

Here, I share the top wedding tips Friends has taught me, which will serve useful to any bride-to-be.

Agree on how much you want to spend

Friends weddings may tend to be hilarious, but one of the things that Monica had struggled with during her wedding preparations was a serious matter any couples could face. She had to to get Chandler on board with her when it came to the budget. Monica, of course, as Monica, already had a big celebration laid out in her head (and in her scrapbook) ever since she was little. Chandler, on the other hand, was hesitant on spending all his savings on a “party.” Likewise, Phoebe and Mike had to go back and forth to a charity because they couldn’t seem to decide on whether or not they wanted a fancy wedding or just donate the money to less fortunate kids (because that’s our Phoebe!). It’s crucial to make up your mind and agree on how much you two, as a couple, are willing to splurge.


You can’t be the designated planner to your Friends’ weddings

A day before her wedding, Phoebe decided to fire Monica as her planner because she couldn’t take Mon’s tyrannic ways of organizing the event. Although she later realized that she needed the bossing around, after all, things got pretty uncomfortable between the two friends. Just like in any business plan, it’s not a good idea to work with a close friend on something that you want to run perfectly. Sure, your friend will make the best effort to make you happy on your big day. However, grownups as we are, we know that things don’t always go as expected. And when the going gets tough, you wouldn’t want to be quietly frustrated so as not to make things awkward, or worse, be in a heated argument with someone you would have wanted to share your special day with. So think carefully and set some ground rules you can agree on before actually hiring a close friend.

Your best friends can, however, do other things for you

This is especially true for DIY weddings. My friends kept bugging me about how they could help and when I still didn’t have any specific assignments for them yet, it was comforting to know there were extra hands willing to help me. In the series,  Rachel and Phoebe proved their loyalty to Monica by helping her get the wedding gown she’d been eyeing on even if it meant sorta beating up another bride. Or what about that time when Monica had to pick up Emily’s wedding dress and the girls ended up wearing bridal dresses while drinking? Talk about squad goals, right?


Hire a professional photographer

While some may advise you that one of the easiest ways to cut down on your wedding expenses is to not hire a professional photographer, Monica and Chandler’s wedding would tell you otherwise. The day after the wedding, Monica was bummed out with the thought that she had nothing to look forward to anymore. Chandler, after reminding her she still had the rest of her life with her to be excited about, told her that the wedding photos might cheer her up. But Monica pointed out that it won’t be ready in weeks. So Chandler offered to have the photos from their personal camera printed, only to realize that it was missing!

To fix that, he and Ross went to some strangers’ wedding held in the same venue to take pictures and make it look like the Bings’ wedding. Can you imagine if they did not hire a professional photographer and just relied on those “fake” shots? Better be sure your celebration is properly documented by paying someone who’ll take responsibility for it.

To add, one of my best friends, who recently got married, revealed that one of her wedding regrets was not hiring a seasoned professional photographer. The one they hired was a colleague but a novice. It was affordable, yes, but let’s just say she wasn’t completely happy with the outcome.


The woman can pop the question

Partly because she was crazy in love and partly because she grew tired of waiting, Monica nervously made a bold move to ask Chandler to marry her. This is not a very popular opinion but I believe that in reality, women can pop the question as much as men can. It may not be done straightforwardly but I have seen my own friends giving their men ultimatums. It’s crazy. Not to mention, risky. Some ended up badly but most of which are now happily married. After all, we all know men need a little nudge every now and then to get your point across.

Be ready for unpleasant surprises 

Monica had to give up her wedding dress in exchange for booking Chandler’s favorite band. Emily was devastated to find out that the church she and Ross were gonna get married in was almost completely reduced to rubble. Phoebe and Mike almost did not push through with their wedding because of a terrible blizzard. Nevertheless, the Friends weddings taught us that we can always find a way to turn things around. Monica still looked stunning in her wedding dress. Emily and Ross’ dimly lit ceremony couldn’t be more romantic (the ambiance, not the incident that occurred, that is). Phoebe walking down the aisle in the white streets of New York to the Beatles’ “Here, There and Everywhere,” hands down, was divine and will remain to be my favorite wedding scene of all time.


Say the Right Name

Finally, this. I’d probably be amused at a certain level if my husband had pulled this off. If you intend to do it, remember two things: make sure your other half is a fellow fan and make sure it’s “I take thee, Rachel” and not some other name. Also, make sure everyone in the room, including the facilitator, gets it! Otherwise, please make sure to say the right name.

How about you? What was your favorite wedding tip from Friends? I’d love to hear it!

This post first appeared in Quaint Quinn.

More about Queenie Sue Bajenting-Pantinople

The founder of Wedding Kultura, Queenie, or affectionately nicknamed Quinn, is a copywriter for global brands for over a decade, a DIY apostle since the day she learned how to hold a pair of scissors, and a certified wedding enthusiast since forever. She loves breakfast food but not during breakfast time (she loves sleeping more, but that deserves another story), the beach (though she never has the time to go to one anymore), and her not-so baby boy (who's the reason why she so desperately loves sleeping and why she can never have a beach getaway anymore).

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